Be the Grown up

Be the Grown-Up

My 17 year old daughter has a friend who's parents split up and she moved across the country with her Mom.  The girl, I'll call Charlie, comes to visit her father (and her friends!) once over spring break and sometimes once over the summer.   I know the relationship between father and daughter is not good and the divorce was hard on Charlie.

My daughter asked me if Charlie could stay with us if "the sh*t hit the fan" and of course she could, thinking to myself that wouldn't happen - she's visiting for less than a week's time only.  Who let's things escalate to the point of her storming out?  Well, halfway through our quiet Easter Sunday (happy Easter everyone) my daughter comes to find me because "the sh*t hit the fan" and another friend is driving her over right now.  My poor girl!   She looked so nervous - like what do I do now?  We make a bed, set an extra plate at the dinner table and keep conversations light in the house, they can talk it over in my daughters room behind closed doors.

That poor Charlie!  So you don't agree on anything - but was the father yelling?  Saying scary things?  Was he fighting with her like he used to with Charlies mother?  No physical violence, but a spousal argument is different than one with your child.  And she is a very intelligent almost grown child, Charlie has given TED Talks!  I am guessing it would be easy to have an grown up conversation, as I have in light chat, with her.  She's impressive.  So Dad, even if she's being more of a teenager than a TED Talk guest lecturer - aren't you the grown up?  Aren't you the one Dad, to put the train back on track and slow down the speed of the out of control train?  

I have a bench in my front yard - for me.  Sometimes I have put myself in time out.  It's what a parent has to do from time to time.  I am the grown-up, I need to stay in control.  Nothing worse than saying something you can't take back.  The Dad would be wise to be the bigger person and listen to what she is saying, not how she is saying it..

My 15 minutes of worry for a father - daughter relationship

Easter Basket Tip

Easter Basket Tip

Putting grass in your baskets?  Don't use that plastic stuff that takes years to get completely out of you house Make your own!

Empty your shredder of your bills and credit card offers and shred several pieces of green paper!

Even if you get a couple of worded white pieces mixed in, it still looks a ton better, you won't be untangling the grass from the vacuum cleaner months from now - because paper grass is recyclable!

So you are doing the environment a favor, your wallet a favor, and your vacuum cleaner too.

Better all the way around.

Now to find the chocolate bunnies I stashed earlier this month....

scant 15 mins

Hello Spring

Welcome back, spring.  Oh how we missed you!  I love the arrival of tiny green shoots around the first blooming crocus.  The warm sun is so welcoming, but I know you are still there cold air.  I can feel you trapped in my house, I can feel you in my bones.  Even with the sudden arrival of something so warm as this little flower

the spring cool air keeps me in my sweaters.  I have noticed people craving spring - my class needing and wanting to stay outside on the playground longer

the older classes needed their turn on the playground, fair is fair - so we had an egg hunt elsewhere!  Plastic Easter eggs with stickers inside - a lot of fun!  But even more so, look at what my teenager is trying to do in her room

Grow flowers from seeds!

She bought the pots, soil, and seeds all on her own.  I hope it works for her sake - look at that longing!  My husband is a little less patient for spring

Lovely.  I don't recall anyone rushing out and trying to force winter on our home!  Once the chill of winter has arrived, I wish for snow to be sure.  I am pretty sure you won't find me or anyone wishing it to be so cold you are uncomfortable even in hats and gloves.

Welcome spring with your warm sun and cool air - and all the hopeful renewal you bring with it.

15 minutes of spring thoughts.